Yawn

Is it possible to be rude without being rude?

To respond without being interested?

To reply, but turn open questions into closed ones. Not necessarily using yes or no, but "yeah, it's fine" or "no it's not." If so? I think I've begun being taught how to master said talent.

Courage is something that a lot of people don't have, I won't deny it, there are times when I have an obscene amount, and there are times when I have none.

But, there's one bit of courage that I don't have, the courage to tell myself it's not my fault. I refuse to believe this world is full of arseholes, full of ignorant pigs that are too self concerned with their own beliefs to consider other peoples.

Funny how people can change, isn't it?

The Choice

Redefine and reselect,
all these choices I detect,
do I go left or do I go right,
do I flee or do I fight?

Change my life in a beat,
fall on my arse or stand on my feet.
Keep at the pace and keep promise to heart,
or cut losses and run, duly depart.

"Is it worth it?" He says, the voice in my head,
the voices I know, prove I'm not dead.
The quest in my life to find something great,
is growing, complex and will not stagnate.

Never to settle for second best,
I'll keep at this, I'll pass the test,
So is the way I've chosen now,
the happiest and greatest for me, somehow?

I think not, but I'll have to see,
Only time will tell, for a choice has made me.

Writing for Reason

Been writing a book for a few months now, called 'Once more with feeling.' It's about love and how people so willingly, although sometimes with fear, get back on the proverbial horse and are willing to try again after being burnt before.

I'm trying to make it interesting, as best from personal experience as possible without making myself sound like a relationship whore. It's coming along well, I would say it's positive and it intends to be an optimistic read but I can't help but feel so pessimistic and miserable when I write it.

Love isn't damned, I know that much, I've seen it in so many people and so many other couples that I know it's out there.

Just gotta keep my head up and not shut down, it'll be around when I least expect it, heh, once more with feeling...

Poem #4

"Final Rest"

What is it with this life I lead,
Am I meant to show and bleed?

Human weakness all around,
imperfection buried in the ground.

When things seem okay, I'd love to say
Wait a while, you'll see, just stay.

That when the going starts to get good,
there'll be something brewing under hood.

Ready to explode, rise up above
rear its head and then shove.

It's ugly problems in my face,
I'm four steps back and out of place.

Why my life couldn't just be plain,
devoid of pleasure, devoid of pain.

Then again, if these things I never did see.
I don't think I'd be anywhere near me.

So in second thoughts, I suppose they're good,
because I know just what I need, I should,
not stop in looking and in my quest.
I've yet to hit my final rest.